When I touch myself, I am conjuring you.

Tonight, my sir wanted to me to talk about how I felt about the assignments that he has been giving me on a daily basis since entering a long distance relationship with sir.

So far, I am really enjoying this sexual build up that I am only allowed to come when given permission to. Yesterday, I touched myself while I was driving in the car. Who knew running errands and doing mundane things could suddenly become so interesting? I've also taken a good liking to my remote control vibrator egg. That way, all I have to do is stick it in and flick the switch to my heart's content and it removes the akwardness of getting caught with putting my hand down my pants as often as sir requests of me to do on a daily basis. When sir and I first bought it together, I was averse to the idea because I know how mean sir can be sometimes. He especially likes for me to wear it whenever we're around others or go out to public places. *Hence my mean comment.* But as it turns out, I really enjoy it so I guess that I just contridicted my statement.

In all seriousness, that's the thing with my sir. He is always very considerate of me and what makes me happy. We are also having a lot of webcam sex and I am starting to read up on self bondage so that he and I can still enjoy each other sexually even when he isn't physically with me.

I've always been self conscious *both physically as well as internally* but he always reassures me that I am a good and beautiful person. I feel safe knowing that he's always wondering what I'm doing and how I'm feeling. Our relationship has always been open and up front but I feel like we have been more upfront with our feelings and emotions since entering this type of relationship with sir. The sexual stuff is nice but the underlying point of it all is what I really enjoy. *Oops. there's my girly side showing again...

It makes me happy that he's protective of me. It makes me feel sexy as well as safe and protected that I am his and he is mine. At first, I thought that when he left it would be "So long, see you later. Let's see what happens when I get back." Or that even though I know med school is a serious thing and I know that sir is not the cheating/lying type, perhaps he would meet someone there who was more compatible with him on a sexual as well as an intellectual level pertaining to medicine. I'm very well versed when it comes to arts, design, basic engineeer, and aesthetic but I don't know a thing the medical field. I'm really glad that he is willing to make the effort to show me that he is trying his hardest to show that he can be with me emotionally and sexually even if he can't be with me physically for the time being. There is a large amount of trust that goes into this and he and I really want to make this work.

On the flip side, it makes me sad that just as that we're getting to know each other better, he's leaving. I know it's just for a little while but I miss my sir immensely already. Upon meeting, it didn't take long for us to become sexually intimate but I feel like even though we've been together for 3 yrs. everything still feels new and exciting with sir. Sex and everything else in between with sir has been wonderful. In the eyes of others, 3 years is a long time being with someone whom you're not married to especially at our age where I feel like people today become so easily bored with each other. To me, I can't think of any thing but good things to describe our relationship. Sure there have been arguments but nothing that he and I weren't willing to work out together.

...Besides, make up sex is always hot. I dare anyone to disagree with me.