Release

Sometimes Sir drives a hard bargain...After not being able to come for a few days and being instructed to wear my butt plug to work today, for the whole day, Sir agreed to let me come today. Why so soon, you ask?

Because today, I bought brand spankin' (pun intended) Aslan leather wrist cuffs as well as a size upgrade to my butt plug. At first, I was worried about upgrading to the right size but the guy in the shop was super helpful without being super skeevy so I guess in the end, all worked out...I know, I know. Boring post. But I have nothing but masterbation on the brain and it was a very hectic work day. Tomorrow, I'll post about all the dirty little things that was running through my mind as I fuck myself into a coma for the evening.
Hopefull tonight, I hope I'll see Sir in my dreams. Butt plug in place. Roughly fucking me from behind, hair being pulled back as he forces me to hold the Hitachi to my aching wet pussy, threatening to stop if I drop the wand. Mmmm I love when he's rough and tells me what to do.

New Tricks

That soft, gentle buzzing in my ass...it had to have been an hour by now. I hope you've returned, Sir. Earlier as I crawled into my cage, you left me with 2 wireless buzzing intruders as my companions. You know exactly what you're doing, Sir; alternating speeds... from my pussy, to ass, to both simultenously together. I knew better than to come without your permission. Yet, I couldn't help that my cunt was throbbing as I slowly seeped down my thighs. I clench my fists and my legs together. I wished I was able to clench my teeth but you placed a penis panel gag on my head. ANYTHING to stop myself from coming right then and there in my cage. I watch you unbuckle your pants, teasing me with your cock from outside my cage. I crawl towards you and you say, "Don't use your hands, pet. Only your mouth."

With the gag in place, I try my best to maneuver my mouth onto your cock. I start slowly and I hear you groan. I move my head faster, bobbing in and out, looking up at you, my eyes never leaving yours. You put your hands in the cage, grab a fistful of my hair, and force my mouth all the way to the base of your cock. I try very hard not to gag as I feel drool drip down my face. You force your cock in and out of my mouth and I try to focus on breathing and controlling my gag reflex. You're breathing hard and you tell me that you're about to come soon. You turn both vibrators on high and remind me that I'm not allowed to come without your permission. But I'm so horny that I can't help that one hand goes down towards my pussy to play with my clit. Despite 2 vibrators, I rub and pinch my clit as you thrust your cock in and out of my mouth. I clench my eyes shut and moan from my gag. "Come for me now, pet." You say. I'm breathing hard and just as I come, you release your load into my mouth.

Happy Birthday, Sir!!!!!

Today is Sir's birthday but since he's not here, I figured that I would update with a photo of wax play and blog about my last time with sir.

"Wear something sexy and have your toys with you, pet." That was the e-mail from sir. I wasn't sure what I'd be expecting this time. Sir has asked me on several occasions to masterbate in front of him but never with my toys. I was anxious, nervous, and excited to see what sir would ask of me. Obediently, I got dressed into my black corset, thong, fishnet stockings, and collar and waited for his call. He inspected me from every angle as he had done last time. When he was satisfied, he asked me what toys I had with me. I told him my butt plug, clothes pins, my vibrator, and since my rope or my cuffs hadn't come in yet, I had a few ties lying around.

"I want you to play with yourself with one hand and to put your butt plug in with the other." he instructed. I hesitated for a moment because it has just been recently that sir and I have tried anal ANYTHING and here he was asking me to insert my plug myself. Not really wanting to disobey sir, I did as I was told. "Good girl." sir said. "Now, I want you to put the pins on your nipples and to blindfold yourself." Now I really had to protest. As I clipped one pin on a nipple, I begged sir to remove it. I think the pin hurt more than it actually did because this was the first time that I was doing this to myself. I was scared and nervous that I was doing it wrong because usually, toys like this are used when sir is around. Now, as well as for awhile, I am going to have to get used to pinning, pinching, etc. without sir. Sir said in reply, "Pet, if you don't do as I say, I will find other places for you to pin those." Needless to say, the pins stayed. Blindfolded and pinned, I leaned back. I spread my legs widely for him and began to tease my already dripping pussy with my vibrator on low.

I heard sir chuckle to himself upon seeing how much I was enjoying myself. Perhaps I was enjoying myself too much for sir's liking because he asked me, "How would you feel if I told you that I wasn't going to allow you to come tonight, pet?" I froze. I do enjoy it when sir is cruel to me but I sincerely hoped that this time he wasn't being serious. I had done my assignments as sir instructed and it had been about 5 days since I was allowed to come. I shoke my head and begged him to allow me to come that night. Sir said, "Alright pet, you may. So long as you tell me what you're thinking about while you're touching yourself and to ask me for permission just as you are about to come."

"Yes sir." I replied as I told him that while still blindfolded, I imagined sir biting my lip as he pulled my hair roughly. Clamps on my nipples with weights attached to them. Hands tied behind my back as sir rams his cock deeper and deeper into my dripping wet cunt until I cried out in pain and pleasure. God, I was so horny and desperate to come because on top of not being able to come for awhile, sir instructed that I turn my vibrator on to high as I told him what I was fantasizing about. Whenever I beg sir for my orgasm, I feel like a wanton, dirty little slut. I can't even pretend to be an expert at looking sexy because at that point, I didn't care what I looked like. I would do just anything for sir to allow me my orgasm. Gasping and panting was all that I could muster. I begged and begged him again and again, until finally, he let me come. I have to admit that that was one of the most intense orgasms that I've inflicted upon myself with sir. I had almost forgotten what it felt like to be blindfolded while coming.

Playing with sir on the cam is fun. :] On a side note, my rope and cuffs should be arriving soon! *Sir has most of the bondage stuff with him, but you can never have too much rope, and it doesn't hurt to own more than one pair of cuffs, anyways* And I'm happy to say that our long distance d/s relationship is going well. I can't believe that it's been 4 yrs. that we've been together and this is the first birthday that he and I are not celebrating in a naked, drunken, taggled mess together. :[ Ah, well.

Happy Birthday to my wonderful and sexy sir! I love you! <3

Sweetest Goodbye

Even after watching all of my beloved sir's luggage strewn all across the floor in his house, the idea that he is definitely leaving has still yet to hit me. Maybe I'm in denial because I don't want him to go but at the same time I want him to go because I know how important this is to him.

Yesterday was the last day that I will be seeing sir until he comes back in May. He picked me up and drove me back to his house because he invited me over to have dinner with his family and have drinks with him and his friends afterwards. On the drive there, he said, "Remember, pet. You're not allowed to come no matter what I do to you, understood?" I shook my head and replied "Yes, sir." "Good girl." sir said as he told me to hike up my very tight pencil skirt because he wanted to finger me in the front passenger seat. Needless to say, sir was very happy with what greeted him which was a pair of thigh high fishnet stockings and a silky Victoria's Secret thong. (I always joke with sir that at this point, I'm pretty sure that he's seen most of what's exhibited in the Victoria's Secret catalog because of me by now. Sorry, I have an undeniable weakness for cute underwear) Sir and I have done this before on several occassions but the fact that it was broad daylight both embarrassed and made me wetter at the same time. I'm sure that the people driving on the other side of the road could see my face contorting in pleasure so instead I grit my teeth and faced my side of the window as he touched, twisted and grabbed my pussy from outside of my underwear. He scratched my thigh and then slowly massaged it as he chuckled to himself upon seeing that I was beginning to soak through my thong. It had been 2 days since sir permitted me to come so at this point, my cunt was throbbing. "That was the shortest ride to his house that I had ever experienced." I thought to myself as we pulled up to his house.

For awhile, I've been working on his going away present which consisted of an ink drawing that I did on a sheet of veneer along with a small black moleskine notebook filled with quotes and funny and endearing pictures of things that reminded me of him, what I will miss when he's away, and naughty things I want to do to him when he returns. Sir whispered "Thank you." as he grabbed my hair and gave me the most passionate and heartfelt kiss that went straight to my soul and down to warmth between my thighs. He managed to somehow fog up the aviator glasses that I was wearing! Dinner was pleasant and the last of his major packing got done. But I won't elaborate on that as it is not what the Dear Readers came here for.

After dinner, I think sir really wanted his dessert. And so did I. As the car was warming up, sir didn't waste anytime putting his hands up my skirt. His hands were cold and it was my job to warm them up. All the local spots that we usually went to were crowded with people that were too likely to catch us. I like doing it in public but we knew better. Frustrated, sir told me to hike up my skirt and put my coat on top of my lap. He began to finger me again, but this time putting his fingers inside of my thong. We carried on this way until we finally found a spot. It wasn't secluded enough for full on fucking that we both wanted but it was still public enough to do what we did. Sir and I began to kiss and without warning, threw his head down towards my lap and moved my thong aside as he began to tongue fuck my pussy in the car. My nails dug into the driver's leather headrest as I cried out and begged him for permission to come. Sir gave me permission. The experience was more intense than I could describe. I wanted to thank sir for my orgasm and began to rub his cock inside of his jeans. It secretly made me happy to see how hard he was from licking my pussy. Sir began to unbutton his pants and asked me, "Just how badly do you want my cock?" I replied "Really badly sir. You know what a cock hungry whore I am, sir." Sir had slipped down his pants and his boxers at this point. I looked down at his cock hungrily. "Do you promise to swallow and lick every drop?" he asked. I nodded my head yes. He smiled at me as we kissed and he bit my lip. I bit him back forgetting that I wasn't allowed to do that. He grabbed my hair and slapped my face as he repremanded me, saying, "Bad slut. I didn't give you permission to do that." I said I was sorry as he forced my mouth down onto his cock.

He gripped my head and massaged my hair as I worked my way up and down his cock, sucking and licking it. I like the sounds sir makes when he's turned on. I could feel my cunt getting wet again. Sir knows that I get turned on when I'm giving him a blowjob so he decided to play with my clit and thrust one finger inside of my dripping wet pussy along with another finger dangerously close to my ass hole. He told me to suck his cock and to relax my throat. I did as he asked as he began to thrust faster and deeper into my mouth. At that point, I was choking on his cock but my gag reflex has gotten a lot better since I love deep throating sir's cock. I was pretty sure his entire cock was inside my mouth because I could feel his balls slapping my chin. He came long and hard in my mouth and I swallowed every sweet drop of him. Just like a good pet. He sighed in saisfaction. He looked at me and stroked my hair lovingly. "I love you and damn, that was one of the most incredible blowjobs that you've ever given me." he said. "Thank you, sir." I replied. He smiled at me and said, "If you think I'm done with you, you are mistaken pet. Go inside your purse and put your vibrator egg inside of you." I looked at him incrediously. "Are you serious?" I managed to choke out in disbelief. He gave me the look that he was deadly serious. I didn't dare disobey. I rummaged through my purse and found the vibrator and remote. I handed sir the remote and stuck the egg inside of my cunt. "And the same rules apply, pet. Don't you dare come unless I let you." I replied, "Yes sir." Pleased, he drove to Starbucks to get us both coffee. I told him that I'd rather not greet his friends smelling like his semen and my saliva.

He turned on the vibrator every so often. I winced and tried not to make any sqeaks or sounds that would give me away to the general public. Little did everyone know, I was getting wetter by the second because of this little vibrator and because of the fact that this was happening while sir and I were both out in public. Sir even turned it on when we greeted his friend's parents! Sir is often very very wicked...

After we picked up his friends, we headed to a bar. We were all drinking and having a good time until my phone vibrated. Sir handed it to me nonchalantly. The text was from him. It read, "Panties, now. Excuse yourself to the bathroom." Sheepishly, I waited for a bit. I didn't want to seem obvious. Eventually, I excused myself. I couldn't believe that I was about to hand my soaked thong to sir and go home without any underwear! Thankfully, this was towards the end of the night and we were all saying goodbye and good night to everyone.

Sir brought one of his friend for the ride home. Perhaps he was thinking of me and possibly knew that if he and I were alone, I was going to cry. I almost did anyway when he showed/told me that he was going to start wearing the ring again that I had bought for him on our 2 year anniversary when we exchanged rings. On the other hand, I was still thoroughly turned on so I sent him a text saying that had we gone home alone, I wanted to give him road head on the way home but obviously that wasn't possible. Descretely, I handed him my thong and rested my hand on his lap which occassionally wandered over to his crotch. If sir could be mean, I thought to myself, "So could I."

The ride was short and sir was happy...He got the send off that he wanted. Small, intimate, and surrounded by people who would truly miss him. I kissed him several times and I gave him the biggest and tightest hug that I could. I knew that that was the last time that I would for a bit.

When I entered my house, I had to climb up the stairs to get to my bedroom. My thighs were still wet from the evening and I happened to be wearing a tight pencil skirt that night so that with every shift or movement, the vibrator would rub against my g-spot. I began to remove the vibrator that had been resting inside my very moist pussy the entire night, groaning in pleasure and disappointment. After all the events of the evening, my pussy was overstimulated. I squirted unexpectedly as I pulled the vibrator out of overly wet cunt. Not only were my juices all over the vibrator but all over my bedroom floor and I could also feel it dripping down my thighs and onto my fishnet thigh highs. I cleaned myself up and decided to confess to sir that I had come without his permission. After all, since sir was kind enough to let me come, I have to wait 5 days before I am allowed to come again. (It was originially 4 days but I can't seem to keep my hands to myself. ;] ) I awaited my punishment.

...There was none. Sir seemed pleased and commended how hot that was. I shook my head and smiled at his text. Even though I'm used to his antics and absurdly perverted remarks, he still somehow manages to shock me. I shake my head and smile as I climb into bed and dream of the day that he'll be at my doorstep again, smiling with a boquet of roses in one hand and a wad of rope in the other.

When I touch myself, I am conjuring you.

Tonight, my sir wanted to me to talk about how I felt about the assignments that he has been giving me on a daily basis since entering a long distance relationship with sir.

So far, I am really enjoying this sexual build up that I am only allowed to come when given permission to. Yesterday, I touched myself while I was driving in the car. Who knew running errands and doing mundane things could suddenly become so interesting? I've also taken a good liking to my remote control vibrator egg. That way, all I have to do is stick it in and flick the switch to my heart's content and it removes the akwardness of getting caught with putting my hand down my pants as often as sir requests of me to do on a daily basis. When sir and I first bought it together, I was averse to the idea because I know how mean sir can be sometimes. He especially likes for me to wear it whenever we're around others or go out to public places. *Hence my mean comment.* But as it turns out, I really enjoy it so I guess that I just contridicted my statement.

In all seriousness, that's the thing with my sir. He is always very considerate of me and what makes me happy. We are also having a lot of webcam sex and I am starting to read up on self bondage so that he and I can still enjoy each other sexually even when he isn't physically with me.

I've always been self conscious *both physically as well as internally* but he always reassures me that I am a good and beautiful person. I feel safe knowing that he's always wondering what I'm doing and how I'm feeling. Our relationship has always been open and up front but I feel like we have been more upfront with our feelings and emotions since entering this type of relationship with sir. The sexual stuff is nice but the underlying point of it all is what I really enjoy. *Oops. there's my girly side showing again...

It makes me happy that he's protective of me. It makes me feel sexy as well as safe and protected that I am his and he is mine. At first, I thought that when he left it would be "So long, see you later. Let's see what happens when I get back." Or that even though I know med school is a serious thing and I know that sir is not the cheating/lying type, perhaps he would meet someone there who was more compatible with him on a sexual as well as an intellectual level pertaining to medicine. I'm very well versed when it comes to arts, design, basic engineeer, and aesthetic but I don't know a thing the medical field. I'm really glad that he is willing to make the effort to show me that he is trying his hardest to show that he can be with me emotionally and sexually even if he can't be with me physically for the time being. There is a large amount of trust that goes into this and he and I really want to make this work.

On the flip side, it makes me sad that just as that we're getting to know each other better, he's leaving. I know it's just for a little while but I miss my sir immensely already. Upon meeting, it didn't take long for us to become sexually intimate but I feel like even though we've been together for 3 yrs. everything still feels new and exciting with sir. Sex and everything else in between with sir has been wonderful. In the eyes of others, 3 years is a long time being with someone whom you're not married to especially at our age where I feel like people today become so easily bored with each other. To me, I can't think of any thing but good things to describe our relationship. Sure there have been arguments but nothing that he and I weren't willing to work out together.

...Besides, make up sex is always hot. I dare anyone to disagree with me.

Can you gag me with my soaking wet panties, too?

Since sir is about to be off to med school soon, I just thought how hot *and fitting it would be if I dressed up as a naughty catholic school girl for him and he tied me up with one of my legs in the air, similar to that in the picture, except I hope that he gags me with my soaking wet panties first. Just to remind me what a slut I really. I can just imagine him putting the anal plug and the vibrator inside of me, filling both holes....mmmm. It'd be pretty hard to balance myself I'd think, but it would be fun nonetheless.

On a side note, my sir has started to give me naughty assignments on a daily basis to fulfill. Today, I am to discuss my favorite things in the bedroom. BDSM related or romantic. There's so many to choose from but I'd have to say that I really enjoy it when he blind folds me. I like seeing sir naked, his cock rock hard but when I'm blindfolded, I can't anticipate what he's about to do to me and it makes me even wetter. When it does happen, the feeling is that much more intense because I'm forced to focus on the pleasure and pain that's being inflicted upon me.

I also like being left in the closet, blind folded, hands and legs tied together, with a vibrator stuck inside of me. The anticipation is maddening and the vibrator feels so good with every small move that I make. Usually afterwards, he pulls me out of the closet, takes my blind fold off and fucks me mercilessly in front of a mirror, forcing me to watch my facial expressions as he rams his cock inside of my dripping wet pussy, or ass hole *which we've just started exploring recently. I guess to sum it all up, it's the anticipation build up that really gets me going. All of that pent up sexual frustration just waiting to be released. Which I am only allowed to release when given permission to do so by my sir.

On another note, most people say that once you having kinky sex, you'll never go back to vanilla sex. I didn't realize it until after the assignment that sir gave me but I'd have to say that I do enjoy/miss having vanilla sex once in awhile. Talking while being in the bathtub together, getting/giving back rubs with oil... I'm not saying that my sir is not romantic. He shows it in many many ways and I am lucky and greatful to be with him. It's partially my fault for not hinting it. I didn't think that my girly side would emerge out of nowhere either. It's not that I'm saying that I don't feel special. Far from it. There's no other way for me to feel when I'm with him. When we go out to dinner, he pays for everything. He pulls out chairs for me. He opens doors. He is a very very generous sir. And yet when we're in the bedroom, it has been a while since he and I have had slow and quiet sex. Whenever we're together we bite, tease, spank, lick, suck, etc. each other but I don't think that I can ever remember coming into the bedroom with candles and rose petals, like you'd see in a cheesy romance flick.

This concept came up when we started discussing the psychological side of BDSM. I trust my sir completely and feel like I can tell him anything. My fears, my worries, my likes, dislikes, strange tendencies, etc. and vice versa. If you can't be whole heartedly honest, what's the point?

No matter what turns you on, in my humble opinion, I feel like the whole point is not to simply do as your Dom tells you to in order for you (the sub) to get your reward. Trust and Understanding your partner's (Both Sub and Dom.) needs and desires is really what matters. Call me crazy. I guess I just love my sir that much. With or without my collar on.

The bruises on my thighs may fade, but the memory of you doing that never will...

First blog entry since I was in high school so I'm a bit rusty. My good sir can make fun of me all he wants about how un-technologically savvy I am but I kick his ass in drafting and design programs. Anyhow, off topic. I'm in Jersey and he's in NY. But not for long. He's off to medschool in the Carribean and I'll probably be a wreck for a bit. I wasn't quite sure how this was going to work seeing as I know long distance takes work and effort. But then he came up with this idea of having a blog. Just talking about random things about our lives with a side of BDSM. I'll start this post with our last encounter but as we go along, he also happened to suggest Half Naked Thursdays so I'll eventually post a few sexy pics of myself because I know it'll make my sir happy.

Before all that, I guess I'll start with my relationship with sir. (If you read his blog, it'll be pretty similar for the intro part) We're both in our 20's and have been together for about 3 yrs. He's off to be an MD and I'm working on starting a career to be a designer in NYC. In the bedroom, we both found that we liked to experiment and found that we thoroughly enjoyed d/S and BDSM. I like wearing the collar and having my cunt teased mercilessly with his fingers or a vibrator but I do also enjoy blindfolding him and spanking him on occasion. I'm really shy about these situations and would be hesitant to try this with someone I wasn't deeply in love with or truly didn't trust.

I'm usually a grinch during the holiday season (up til the end of New Years) but he manages to get me into the spirit as well as in the mood. As a result, we decided to get a hotel room for the night. I also tend to get really grabby and horny when I'm drunk. As a surprise to him, I wore a black corset and a matching thong and nylons underneath my winter coat. I would've worn my black bondage style stilettos with them but it was snowing. Oh well. Maybe next time. ;)

My heart was pounding when sir kissed me on my shoulder. He told me to get on my knees and put the collar on as he blind folded me. He pulled my hair and dragged me around the room. I love how forceful he is with me. We started to kiss and bite and then without warning, he started fingering me. He took his hands out of my thong just long enough to smear my cunt juice all over my lips. He just chuckled as he licked my lips at how easily wet I became. My knees became weak just around the time he pushed me on to the bed. He started fingering me almost immediately as we started to talk dirty. Sir asked me what I was and to whom did I belong to. "I'm your dirty pain slut, sir." I managed to whimper. He likes knowing that I belong to him, and only him. He slapped me in the face and bit my lip. "Good girl." God I wanted his cock so badly. but he wouldn't let me have it that easily. He told me what a cock hungry whore I was and that I deserved to be spanked. I wasn't really in much of a position to argue since I was whimpering for him and I did want that spanking. REALLY BADLY. I was blindfolded the entire time but I'm sure that my ass was as red as a cherry. I didn't really have much time to recover before I realized that sir was tying my legs apart and my hands together above my head. He told me that I wasn't allowed to come unless he gave me permission to do so. That day, he was especially mean because he wanted to try something different. He wanted to try to make me squirt.

I wasn't sure how he was planning to do that. All I know is that I was dizzy with pleasure and my thighs were shaking as he began to lick, bite, and suck on my inner thighs. He didn't even get to my pussy yet and I already wanted to come. I'm quite sensitive when it comes to my inner thighs and hipbones it seems. A part of me wished I was gagged. I would be mortified if the people in the next hotel room could hear my moans and screams. I begged him to come. I promised him anything and everything if he allowed me to come. All of a sudden I heard a strong buzzing sound and felt the cold plastic pushing up into my wet pussy. It hurt so much that tears streamed down my eyes. I felt extra tight that night and I wasn't sure why. Perhaps it's because the vibe was too big. Sir switched tactics and used his fingers instead to stroke my g-spot.

Pain suddenly turned into pleasure and I started breathing heavily, making noises I hadn't made before, and clamping down on his fingers. I begged him again to let me come and this time he obliged. The experience was mindblowing. And just when I thought it was over, he climbed on top of me and fucked me senseless. He whispered in my ear how much he liked hearing me moan as he bite my lip as we kissed. We rocked together on the bed and he slapped me on the face just before we came together. Breathing heavily, his warm body collapsed on top of mine and eventually, removed my bonds together.

After a beer, some champagne, a few shots of SoCo, Jameson, and whatever colorful drink mixed with vodka sir happened to make for me at the New Yr's party, I was clearly drunker than he was since he drove back. He wanted to get some sleep but I was desperately hot and wanted to sleep naked and have sex before I drifted off to sleep. I quickly shed off my short mini leather dress and climbed under the covers with just my panties on. I knew we were gonna be tired the next day but it was definitely worth it. It was quick and passionate and I really enjoyed it when he came on face and tits. I love the taste of him but he just recently quit smoking so he tasted better than ever.

I'm very lucky to have a sir that gets off on watching me writhe and moan, even if I don't know what's going on. I like the feeling of giving up control. It's strangely comforting and relaxing.

I never have any complaints when having sex with sir, but I love it best when I get to kiss him in the forehead and whisper "Goodnight and I love you."