HNT: Here, even when you're not here

Things have been pretty hectic so I think that an update is in order. Everything has been nonstop on my end, what with renovations at home (don't mind the door in the background of the pic) and job interviews in full swing. I saw Avatar in 3D which was enjoyable unless you're prone to seizures and/or heartattacks. Otherwise, wonderful. I was skeptical at first...Oh! I also went to the Tim Burton Exhibition at the MOMA with friends and pretty much ruined my panties from excitement because he is my God.

Sir hasn't updated his blog in awhile because he's been super busy too. To quote him "One day of medschool is equivalent to a week of undergrad classes." Yikes... =/ Still, we always talk every night which is nice. At first, I had my worries and doubts that he would be too busy and I would start to feel neglected but that hasn't been the case. Even though we're both busy and far away from each other, we've both managed to maintain a sweet and kinky presence in each other's lives. (This first part is just an update of what's been going on in my daily life but if you want to know what's been happening with sir and I, read ahead after the HHNT greeting. :])

Lately, everything has just been fast paced and always on the go. The minute I get home, I'm getting ready to just go back out again for one reason or another. It's pretty exhausting. I think the hermit in me is starting to protest. Anyway. Here's a shot of me in one of my favorite pair of boots *Sir has a similar pair too so sometimes we match.* Lately, I've been so tired to get dressed for bed that I kinda strip on my way to my bed and fall asleep naked, save for my boots. Oh, what I sight I must be.

HHNT EVERYONE!



Sir and I have been enjoying a steady pattern of webcam sex but since I'm on my period, I've been in a bummy sweatpants, hot compress on the uterus, overkill Midol-induced state. But on my way home this past Saturday night, sir instructed that I wear my collar and something sexy for him. Sir definitely had something up his sleeve. Usually sir and I forgo sexytime whenever my monthly is here. Little did I know...But I didn't think much of it and didn't want to disobey, so I did as sir instructed.

I've heard of people having sex while on their period because it reduced the risk of pregnancy or because they're turned on by it but personally, I'm not aroused by it and I didn't see myself partaking in it. Masterbation, or intercourse...Until now. Sir and I talked casually about everyday topics when suddenly, he asked me to lean back against the wall and spread my legs. I reminded him again that I was on my period. He didn't seem to care. Sir threatened me with a spanking if I didn't spread my legs for him. As much as I like spankings from sir, I knew better this time. Slowly, I spread my legs for him as he asked. Sir proceeds to tell me how beautiful I am and at this point, I still can't look him in the eye. I thought that that would be the end of it. "I want you to touch yourself outside of your panties." he said. I blushed FURIOUSLY at what sir was asking me to do. I am shy enough when he watches me touch myself but moreso in this situation. I tried to wrap my brain around an alternative. Something. ANYTHING ELSE. Sir was unwilling to compromise. Besides, there isn't really much I can bargain with. Anything he asks of me is his. I closed my eyes and turned my face away as I began to rub myself. Mind you, I've never done this, nor have I ever thought to do this but since I am quite sensitive in general, to my surprise and to sir's delight, I started moaning softly and panting heavily. I wanted to stop. But I didn't want to stop. God, I really was a dirty humiliation slut. Sir wanted me to look up at him but I was so embarrassed as I continued to touch myself. He insisted that I admit outloud, over and over again how pleasureable this was until I convinced him enough to let me come. Sir commanded me to look up and as I did, he said, "Do you remember what my cock looks and feels like, slut?" I nodded my head yes as he aimed the camera down to his cock. His wonderful, thick cock that I miss wrapping my lips (both mouth/vagina) around; standing up proud and straight just for me. I began to recall all of the fun and pleasure that we've both shared and felt wonderful knowing that I turned him on. I always like being the reason for sir's arousal. I came first after sir gave me permission to, and he came shortly after.

I suppose there's no rule about sexual acts during your period but I don't forsee this happening on a regular basis. Sir and I like to push the envelope but we do have limits. I love how honest and open we are with each other so that we both better understand what does or doesn't turn us on. At first I was really uncomfortable with this idea but I have to say, that in the end, I enjoyed myself. To me, it was a different feeling because as I've said, it wasn't so much the fact that I had my period that turned me on but the fact that I felt embarrassed to no end at what sir was asking. It was more of a psychological attraction than that of a a physical. I'm usually super horny just as I'm about to get my period but during it, I usually feel so unsexy and bloated like a whale to even think about sex. But sir is wonderful and he always has a way of making me feel comfortable, sexy, and at my best.

HNT: Waiting for sir in my collar

January's practically over but only now am I beginning to feel like my life went from chaotic to normal again. Between buying/wrapping presents for loved ones in crowded malls to trudging to numerous drunken holiday parties in the cold, I've finally settled back into a normal pace again. Normally I wouldn't mind the two activities mentioned above if not for the crowdedness and the cold. *I'm not really a huge fan of winter. It seems that I'm a tropical person by nature. Grrr...Why can't it be spring already? That way, sir will be home and we can continue to do naughty things in public places in the WARM sunlight. The hardest thing about this winter in particular was seeing sir go. But since he's left, we are definitely more adjusted to our situation and despite or distance are still as in love than ever.

For now, I've been busy working on my design website and seeing friends off. It seems that NY, sadly cannot be for everyone with the way that the ecomony's going. Design can be a cruel mistress. Ah well. I don't want this post to get any more depressing than it needs to be so that's all I'm going to say about the matter.

HAPPY HNT, EVERYONE!

You gave your love to me, and now you are my property: Masturbating for sir

"Strip down to your bra and panties, pet. I want to take a good look at my property in the States." sir said. Today was the day that sir would FINALLY let me come. My nipples tingled with excitement. Slowly, I stripped off my shirt and the knee high socks that I was wearing. I didn't bother wearing any shorts or pants because I was hoping sir was in a good mood and would allow me to come that night.

"Get on all fours and turn towards me slowly." sir said to me. First he examined my breasts, my tight ass hole, and lastly my dripping cunt. He seemed satisfied. Smiling, he told me to start touching myself with one hand and to play with my breasts with the other. I moved my thong aside and slowly began to massage my clit with one hand, grabbing a handful of breast with the other. I continued towards my moist pussy, slowing caressing the lips of my vagina before shoving one finger, and eventually two in there. I thought about a lot of the kinky things that sir and I have done, and even more, the public places where we did these things. In particular about last Halloween, when I was dressed as a maid with my collar on, kneeling at the door, blindfolded waiting for sir to come home. How he took me forcefully on the bed, not bothering to remove our clothing. Just biting and scratching, giving little thought to anything else but his cock ramming hard and fast inside of me.

I became even wetter knowing that sir is watching me. I love it when his eyes grow dark with lust because of me. "Keep touching yourself but close your eyes and imagine that I'm right behind you, grabbing your nipples and playing with your wet pussy." I started to breath and pant more heavily, rocking my hips, moving faster as I stuck my fingers deeper and deeper into my cunt. I finally removed my restraining bra. I scratched my chest. I alternated squeezing and twisting my breasts and nipples as hard as I could. I was at the edge. I wanted to come so badly, but I knew better than to not ask sir for permission. I opened my eyes and looked straight into the camera at sir, begging. "Oh God, sir. Can I come please? Please?" He simply smiled. "Who do you belong to, pet?" He waited. Sir loves to make me wait. He also loves making me beg as I watch myself as a reminder of what a slut I really am. Hair desheveled, the clinking sound from my collar as my breasts bounced in the air, my face contorted in erotic bliss. "Oh God, please! I'm your dirty little slut sir, please!" Sir finally gave me permission and I threw my head back and shuddered, feeling my pussy clamp down onto my fingers as I came.

After recomposing ourselves, sir and I talked about his first day of classes which was on Monday. He also sent me a picture of himself, looking very professional and handsome during his white coat ceremony. A large part of me is very proud of him, while the other part of me couldn't help but fantasize about roughly disheveling his hair with my fingers from ecstacy because he is strangling me with his tie. When he comes home, I can't wait to greet him at the door wearing just his white coat and my collar and nylons underneath. Hopefully sir will be kind enough to fuck me against the wall. It has only been about a week since he's left and I miss his warm body next to mine. Tonight, I'm going to sleep with my collar on and hope that he dreams of me.

Perfect Situation

Looking back, I like the way that sir and I have grown together. When we first met, this wasn't supposed to be a serious relationship. But eventually 1 month turned into 3 months, 3 months into 3 years... Some things changed and some things didn't. I'm glad it didn't stay the same or else I'd feel like we weren't really 'getting to know each other' so to speak. I went out with a friend yesterday and she told me that she didn't date men whom she doesn't feel nervous around, especially if she was too comfortable around them. I asked her "Does that hold true if you've been in a relationship with him for awhile?" She couldn't really answer me because her definition of "awhile" was different from mine. Instead, she asked me what I thought. I told her that my sir still makes me nervous. Which I like. I feel like I'm falling in love with him for the first time everytime I look into his eyes. I'm timid and shy to begin with but doubly so when I first met sir. Even until now, when he smiles and winks at me from across the room I can't help but feel weak in the knees and as if I'm the luckiest girl in the world. At the same time, I'm glad that I can be honest and open with sir like I am with my friends. It's nice getting to know more and more about someone and he/she doesn't go running for the hills. How else would he have found out that I like sucking his cock while he drove me home? You can't really just admit that to anyone. "Hi, my name is(insert name here) and I am somewhat of an exhibitionist who enjoys getting flogged in bed." Ummm i don't think that usually goes well on a first date...

I'm rambling. On another note, 5 days has passed and sir promised that he would consider letting me come tomorrow. At this point, that's IF I am what sir would deem as a good pet. Normally I don't keep track of the days but since sir's assignments have been leaving me on the edge of orgasm these days, it's very hard NOT to count. Whenever sir and I talk on Skype, I am either wearing the ring that he gave me or the leather collar with a metal ring attached to it. *Due to my choice of profession, I have 2 types of collars, obviously one less conspicuous.* Sir likes it when I wear my leather collar and nipple clamps so that he can pull the chain while I masterbate in front of him. That way he can control how fast or slow, what's allowed in or out. After all, he does own every inch of me. Sir also insists that I look him in the eyes when I do this because he knows that it humiliates me to admit that I am a dirty little slut and I do enjoy him watching me. I fantasize that when he comes back, he'll attach weights on the nipple clamps, fill both of my holes; a vibrator in my cunt and a vibrating butt plug as I'm blind folded. That way, I"ll have to crawl on my hands and knees to find him. A spanking before he fucks my brains out wouldn't be such a bad thing either. Just sayin'...

I wished that he was here so that my fantasies weren't just fantasies. God, I've never been so anxious for May. But I understand that things come at their own pace and our situation makes me appreciate him that much more. His drive and ambition at medschool along with his faithfulness to me always leaves me in a state of creamy panties and a wet pussy. He is the first thing on my mind when I wake up and the last before I go to bed. Although both of our schedules are fairly busy, we both make time for each other. Even without my daily naughty assignments from sir, he is never far from my mind and apparently I'm not that far from his. He told me that someone happened to notice that his eyes lit up whenever sir talked about me. Little 'ol me. Who'da thought? Right now, we're not in the most perfect situation, what with being so far away from each other, but I couldn't imagine making an effort at being in a relationship with anyone but sir. I wouldn't want to if it wasn't him. I'm hell bent on making this work. I hope he doesn't get bored of me because some times I tend to snore like a beast when I'm drunk and he knows that some times I prefer chocolate over him.

In a perfect situation, sir would be home. For good. Fast forward. In a perfect situation, 4 yrs. from now and sir will make good on that promise that he made last night. As I said... in a perfect situation.

HNT

I don't really have much to say for myself. It has been 3 days since my last orgasm and I am dripping as I walk...

I missed sir's call today but he left a voicemail telling me that he has landed safely and a huge weight was lifted off my chest. With the recent earthquake in Haiti and my sir flying off towards the Carribean... Well, what matters is that he is safe. I do pray for all of the people in Haiti. I have friends who have lost or are still trying to locate loved ones.

*I'm posting my HNT now since I won't be able to do so tomorrow. Here's a shot of the ring that sir left behind with me. This ring is very important to him, and so, I keep it very close to my heart.

HAPPY HNT, EVERYONE!

Don’t be scared ‘cause you’re not something I’m willing to lose.

While sir is away, he left me with orders that I must fullfill, which was to edge at least 4 times a day without coming until the day that I speak to him again. Right now, sir is at the airport and he was thoughtful enough to call me to say that he was thinking of me and to say "I love you." His thoughtfulness is so sexy. It just finally hits me that my darling sir is gone and I'm a mess....Right now, I am griping the ring that he left behind for me as tightly as I can, hoping that he'll somehow feel me giving him the same type of support he is always giving me.

"Even if the whole world is against you, I'm always on your side."

Before I started crying, and since sir is off to school, I decided to post up for him a shot of me dressed as a school girl. Just a small reminder of what he has to look forward to when he gets back. I wish my sexy sir a safe trip and lots of luck while he's down there.

Sweetest Goodbye

Even after watching all of my beloved sir's luggage strewn all across the floor in his house, the idea that he is definitely leaving has still yet to hit me. Maybe I'm in denial because I don't want him to go but at the same time I want him to go because I know how important this is to him.

Yesterday was the last day that I will be seeing sir until he comes back in May. He picked me up and drove me back to his house because he invited me over to have dinner with his family and have drinks with him and his friends afterwards. On the drive there, he said, "Remember, pet. You're not allowed to come no matter what I do to you, understood?" I shook my head and replied "Yes, sir." "Good girl." sir said as he told me to hike up my very tight pencil skirt because he wanted to finger me in the front passenger seat. Needless to say, sir was very happy with what greeted him which was a pair of thigh high fishnet stockings and a silky Victoria's Secret thong. (I always joke with sir that at this point, I'm pretty sure that he's seen most of what's exhibited in the Victoria's Secret catalog because of me by now. Sorry, I have an undeniable weakness for cute underwear) Sir and I have done this before on several occassions but the fact that it was broad daylight both embarrassed and made me wetter at the same time. I'm sure that the people driving on the other side of the road could see my face contorting in pleasure so instead I grit my teeth and faced my side of the window as he touched, twisted and grabbed my pussy from outside of my underwear. He scratched my thigh and then slowly massaged it as he chuckled to himself upon seeing that I was beginning to soak through my thong. It had been 2 days since sir permitted me to come so at this point, my cunt was throbbing. "That was the shortest ride to his house that I had ever experienced." I thought to myself as we pulled up to his house.

For awhile, I've been working on his going away present which consisted of an ink drawing that I did on a sheet of veneer along with a small black moleskine notebook filled with quotes and funny and endearing pictures of things that reminded me of him, what I will miss when he's away, and naughty things I want to do to him when he returns. Sir whispered "Thank you." as he grabbed my hair and gave me the most passionate and heartfelt kiss that went straight to my soul and down to warmth between my thighs. He managed to somehow fog up the aviator glasses that I was wearing! Dinner was pleasant and the last of his major packing got done. But I won't elaborate on that as it is not what the Dear Readers came here for.

After dinner, I think sir really wanted his dessert. And so did I. As the car was warming up, sir didn't waste anytime putting his hands up my skirt. His hands were cold and it was my job to warm them up. All the local spots that we usually went to were crowded with people that were too likely to catch us. I like doing it in public but we knew better. Frustrated, sir told me to hike up my skirt and put my coat on top of my lap. He began to finger me again, but this time putting his fingers inside of my thong. We carried on this way until we finally found a spot. It wasn't secluded enough for full on fucking that we both wanted but it was still public enough to do what we did. Sir and I began to kiss and without warning, threw his head down towards my lap and moved my thong aside as he began to tongue fuck my pussy in the car. My nails dug into the driver's leather headrest as I cried out and begged him for permission to come. Sir gave me permission. The experience was more intense than I could describe. I wanted to thank sir for my orgasm and began to rub his cock inside of his jeans. It secretly made me happy to see how hard he was from licking my pussy. Sir began to unbutton his pants and asked me, "Just how badly do you want my cock?" I replied "Really badly sir. You know what a cock hungry whore I am, sir." Sir had slipped down his pants and his boxers at this point. I looked down at his cock hungrily. "Do you promise to swallow and lick every drop?" he asked. I nodded my head yes. He smiled at me as we kissed and he bit my lip. I bit him back forgetting that I wasn't allowed to do that. He grabbed my hair and slapped my face as he repremanded me, saying, "Bad slut. I didn't give you permission to do that." I said I was sorry as he forced my mouth down onto his cock.

He gripped my head and massaged my hair as I worked my way up and down his cock, sucking and licking it. I like the sounds sir makes when he's turned on. I could feel my cunt getting wet again. Sir knows that I get turned on when I'm giving him a blowjob so he decided to play with my clit and thrust one finger inside of my dripping wet pussy along with another finger dangerously close to my ass hole. He told me to suck his cock and to relax my throat. I did as he asked as he began to thrust faster and deeper into my mouth. At that point, I was choking on his cock but my gag reflex has gotten a lot better since I love deep throating sir's cock. I was pretty sure his entire cock was inside my mouth because I could feel his balls slapping my chin. He came long and hard in my mouth and I swallowed every sweet drop of him. Just like a good pet. He sighed in saisfaction. He looked at me and stroked my hair lovingly. "I love you and damn, that was one of the most incredible blowjobs that you've ever given me." he said. "Thank you, sir." I replied. He smiled at me and said, "If you think I'm done with you, you are mistaken pet. Go inside your purse and put your vibrator egg inside of you." I looked at him incrediously. "Are you serious?" I managed to choke out in disbelief. He gave me the look that he was deadly serious. I didn't dare disobey. I rummaged through my purse and found the vibrator and remote. I handed sir the remote and stuck the egg inside of my cunt. "And the same rules apply, pet. Don't you dare come unless I let you." I replied, "Yes sir." Pleased, he drove to Starbucks to get us both coffee. I told him that I'd rather not greet his friends smelling like his semen and my saliva.

He turned on the vibrator every so often. I winced and tried not to make any sqeaks or sounds that would give me away to the general public. Little did everyone know, I was getting wetter by the second because of this little vibrator and because of the fact that this was happening while sir and I were both out in public. Sir even turned it on when we greeted his friend's parents! Sir is often very very wicked...

After we picked up his friends, we headed to a bar. We were all drinking and having a good time until my phone vibrated. Sir handed it to me nonchalantly. The text was from him. It read, "Panties, now. Excuse yourself to the bathroom." Sheepishly, I waited for a bit. I didn't want to seem obvious. Eventually, I excused myself. I couldn't believe that I was about to hand my soaked thong to sir and go home without any underwear! Thankfully, this was towards the end of the night and we were all saying goodbye and good night to everyone.

Sir brought one of his friend for the ride home. Perhaps he was thinking of me and possibly knew that if he and I were alone, I was going to cry. I almost did anyway when he showed/told me that he was going to start wearing the ring again that I had bought for him on our 2 year anniversary when we exchanged rings. On the other hand, I was still thoroughly turned on so I sent him a text saying that had we gone home alone, I wanted to give him road head on the way home but obviously that wasn't possible. Descretely, I handed him my thong and rested my hand on his lap which occassionally wandered over to his crotch. If sir could be mean, I thought to myself, "So could I."

The ride was short and sir was happy...He got the send off that he wanted. Small, intimate, and surrounded by people who would truly miss him. I kissed him several times and I gave him the biggest and tightest hug that I could. I knew that that was the last time that I would for a bit.

When I entered my house, I had to climb up the stairs to get to my bedroom. My thighs were still wet from the evening and I happened to be wearing a tight pencil skirt that night so that with every shift or movement, the vibrator would rub against my g-spot. I began to remove the vibrator that had been resting inside my very moist pussy the entire night, groaning in pleasure and disappointment. After all the events of the evening, my pussy was overstimulated. I squirted unexpectedly as I pulled the vibrator out of overly wet cunt. Not only were my juices all over the vibrator but all over my bedroom floor and I could also feel it dripping down my thighs and onto my fishnet thigh highs. I cleaned myself up and decided to confess to sir that I had come without his permission. After all, since sir was kind enough to let me come, I have to wait 5 days before I am allowed to come again. (It was originially 4 days but I can't seem to keep my hands to myself. ;] ) I awaited my punishment.

...There was none. Sir seemed pleased and commended how hot that was. I shook my head and smiled at his text. Even though I'm used to his antics and absurdly perverted remarks, he still somehow manages to shock me. I shake my head and smile as I climb into bed and dream of the day that he'll be at my doorstep again, smiling with a boquet of roses in one hand and a wad of rope in the other.

When I touch myself, I am conjuring you.

Tonight, my sir wanted to me to talk about how I felt about the assignments that he has been giving me on a daily basis since entering a long distance relationship with sir.

So far, I am really enjoying this sexual build up that I am only allowed to come when given permission to. Yesterday, I touched myself while I was driving in the car. Who knew running errands and doing mundane things could suddenly become so interesting? I've also taken a good liking to my remote control vibrator egg. That way, all I have to do is stick it in and flick the switch to my heart's content and it removes the akwardness of getting caught with putting my hand down my pants as often as sir requests of me to do on a daily basis. When sir and I first bought it together, I was averse to the idea because I know how mean sir can be sometimes. He especially likes for me to wear it whenever we're around others or go out to public places. *Hence my mean comment.* But as it turns out, I really enjoy it so I guess that I just contridicted my statement.

In all seriousness, that's the thing with my sir. He is always very considerate of me and what makes me happy. We are also having a lot of webcam sex and I am starting to read up on self bondage so that he and I can still enjoy each other sexually even when he isn't physically with me.

I've always been self conscious *both physically as well as internally* but he always reassures me that I am a good and beautiful person. I feel safe knowing that he's always wondering what I'm doing and how I'm feeling. Our relationship has always been open and up front but I feel like we have been more upfront with our feelings and emotions since entering this type of relationship with sir. The sexual stuff is nice but the underlying point of it all is what I really enjoy. *Oops. there's my girly side showing again...

It makes me happy that he's protective of me. It makes me feel sexy as well as safe and protected that I am his and he is mine. At first, I thought that when he left it would be "So long, see you later. Let's see what happens when I get back." Or that even though I know med school is a serious thing and I know that sir is not the cheating/lying type, perhaps he would meet someone there who was more compatible with him on a sexual as well as an intellectual level pertaining to medicine. I'm very well versed when it comes to arts, design, basic engineeer, and aesthetic but I don't know a thing the medical field. I'm really glad that he is willing to make the effort to show me that he is trying his hardest to show that he can be with me emotionally and sexually even if he can't be with me physically for the time being. There is a large amount of trust that goes into this and he and I really want to make this work.

On the flip side, it makes me sad that just as that we're getting to know each other better, he's leaving. I know it's just for a little while but I miss my sir immensely already. Upon meeting, it didn't take long for us to become sexually intimate but I feel like even though we've been together for 3 yrs. everything still feels new and exciting with sir. Sex and everything else in between with sir has been wonderful. In the eyes of others, 3 years is a long time being with someone whom you're not married to especially at our age where I feel like people today become so easily bored with each other. To me, I can't think of any thing but good things to describe our relationship. Sure there have been arguments but nothing that he and I weren't willing to work out together.

...Besides, make up sex is always hot. I dare anyone to disagree with me.

I wish these hands were yours instead of mine.

After my conversation with sir last night, I went to bed very frustrated. He told me that I wasn't allowed to come that night. However, he did say that I was allowed to touch myself but stop just as I'm on the brink of coming as often as I wanted. I don't know if this was meant to be an act of generosity or torture. Maybe both. I guess this is what I get for being such a horny little minx. *SIGH Maybe I should just stop thinking about all this and go about my daily day (I do have a few errands that I need to run today) but it's so difficult...

Oh yes. This is my first HNT post. HAPPY HNT EVERYONE!
*For those of you how don't know what HNT is...
Click me: Osbasso 's Guidelines for "Half-Nekkid Thursday"

Can you gag me with my soaking wet panties, too?

Since sir is about to be off to med school soon, I just thought how hot *and fitting it would be if I dressed up as a naughty catholic school girl for him and he tied me up with one of my legs in the air, similar to that in the picture, except I hope that he gags me with my soaking wet panties first. Just to remind me what a slut I really. I can just imagine him putting the anal plug and the vibrator inside of me, filling both holes....mmmm. It'd be pretty hard to balance myself I'd think, but it would be fun nonetheless.

On a side note, my sir has started to give me naughty assignments on a daily basis to fulfill. Today, I am to discuss my favorite things in the bedroom. BDSM related or romantic. There's so many to choose from but I'd have to say that I really enjoy it when he blind folds me. I like seeing sir naked, his cock rock hard but when I'm blindfolded, I can't anticipate what he's about to do to me and it makes me even wetter. When it does happen, the feeling is that much more intense because I'm forced to focus on the pleasure and pain that's being inflicted upon me.

I also like being left in the closet, blind folded, hands and legs tied together, with a vibrator stuck inside of me. The anticipation is maddening and the vibrator feels so good with every small move that I make. Usually afterwards, he pulls me out of the closet, takes my blind fold off and fucks me mercilessly in front of a mirror, forcing me to watch my facial expressions as he rams his cock inside of my dripping wet pussy, or ass hole *which we've just started exploring recently. I guess to sum it all up, it's the anticipation build up that really gets me going. All of that pent up sexual frustration just waiting to be released. Which I am only allowed to release when given permission to do so by my sir.

On another note, most people say that once you having kinky sex, you'll never go back to vanilla sex. I didn't realize it until after the assignment that sir gave me but I'd have to say that I do enjoy/miss having vanilla sex once in awhile. Talking while being in the bathtub together, getting/giving back rubs with oil... I'm not saying that my sir is not romantic. He shows it in many many ways and I am lucky and greatful to be with him. It's partially my fault for not hinting it. I didn't think that my girly side would emerge out of nowhere either. It's not that I'm saying that I don't feel special. Far from it. There's no other way for me to feel when I'm with him. When we go out to dinner, he pays for everything. He pulls out chairs for me. He opens doors. He is a very very generous sir. And yet when we're in the bedroom, it has been a while since he and I have had slow and quiet sex. Whenever we're together we bite, tease, spank, lick, suck, etc. each other but I don't think that I can ever remember coming into the bedroom with candles and rose petals, like you'd see in a cheesy romance flick.

This concept came up when we started discussing the psychological side of BDSM. I trust my sir completely and feel like I can tell him anything. My fears, my worries, my likes, dislikes, strange tendencies, etc. and vice versa. If you can't be whole heartedly honest, what's the point?

No matter what turns you on, in my humble opinion, I feel like the whole point is not to simply do as your Dom tells you to in order for you (the sub) to get your reward. Trust and Understanding your partner's (Both Sub and Dom.) needs and desires is really what matters. Call me crazy. I guess I just love my sir that much. With or without my collar on.

The bruises on my thighs may fade, but the memory of you doing that never will...

First blog entry since I was in high school so I'm a bit rusty. My good sir can make fun of me all he wants about how un-technologically savvy I am but I kick his ass in drafting and design programs. Anyhow, off topic. I'm in Jersey and he's in NY. But not for long. He's off to medschool in the Carribean and I'll probably be a wreck for a bit. I wasn't quite sure how this was going to work seeing as I know long distance takes work and effort. But then he came up with this idea of having a blog. Just talking about random things about our lives with a side of BDSM. I'll start this post with our last encounter but as we go along, he also happened to suggest Half Naked Thursdays so I'll eventually post a few sexy pics of myself because I know it'll make my sir happy.

Before all that, I guess I'll start with my relationship with sir. (If you read his blog, it'll be pretty similar for the intro part) We're both in our 20's and have been together for about 3 yrs. He's off to be an MD and I'm working on starting a career to be a designer in NYC. In the bedroom, we both found that we liked to experiment and found that we thoroughly enjoyed d/S and BDSM. I like wearing the collar and having my cunt teased mercilessly with his fingers or a vibrator but I do also enjoy blindfolding him and spanking him on occasion. I'm really shy about these situations and would be hesitant to try this with someone I wasn't deeply in love with or truly didn't trust.

I'm usually a grinch during the holiday season (up til the end of New Years) but he manages to get me into the spirit as well as in the mood. As a result, we decided to get a hotel room for the night. I also tend to get really grabby and horny when I'm drunk. As a surprise to him, I wore a black corset and a matching thong and nylons underneath my winter coat. I would've worn my black bondage style stilettos with them but it was snowing. Oh well. Maybe next time. ;)

My heart was pounding when sir kissed me on my shoulder. He told me to get on my knees and put the collar on as he blind folded me. He pulled my hair and dragged me around the room. I love how forceful he is with me. We started to kiss and bite and then without warning, he started fingering me. He took his hands out of my thong just long enough to smear my cunt juice all over my lips. He just chuckled as he licked my lips at how easily wet I became. My knees became weak just around the time he pushed me on to the bed. He started fingering me almost immediately as we started to talk dirty. Sir asked me what I was and to whom did I belong to. "I'm your dirty pain slut, sir." I managed to whimper. He likes knowing that I belong to him, and only him. He slapped me in the face and bit my lip. "Good girl." God I wanted his cock so badly. but he wouldn't let me have it that easily. He told me what a cock hungry whore I was and that I deserved to be spanked. I wasn't really in much of a position to argue since I was whimpering for him and I did want that spanking. REALLY BADLY. I was blindfolded the entire time but I'm sure that my ass was as red as a cherry. I didn't really have much time to recover before I realized that sir was tying my legs apart and my hands together above my head. He told me that I wasn't allowed to come unless he gave me permission to do so. That day, he was especially mean because he wanted to try something different. He wanted to try to make me squirt.

I wasn't sure how he was planning to do that. All I know is that I was dizzy with pleasure and my thighs were shaking as he began to lick, bite, and suck on my inner thighs. He didn't even get to my pussy yet and I already wanted to come. I'm quite sensitive when it comes to my inner thighs and hipbones it seems. A part of me wished I was gagged. I would be mortified if the people in the next hotel room could hear my moans and screams. I begged him to come. I promised him anything and everything if he allowed me to come. All of a sudden I heard a strong buzzing sound and felt the cold plastic pushing up into my wet pussy. It hurt so much that tears streamed down my eyes. I felt extra tight that night and I wasn't sure why. Perhaps it's because the vibe was too big. Sir switched tactics and used his fingers instead to stroke my g-spot.

Pain suddenly turned into pleasure and I started breathing heavily, making noises I hadn't made before, and clamping down on his fingers. I begged him again to let me come and this time he obliged. The experience was mindblowing. And just when I thought it was over, he climbed on top of me and fucked me senseless. He whispered in my ear how much he liked hearing me moan as he bite my lip as we kissed. We rocked together on the bed and he slapped me on the face just before we came together. Breathing heavily, his warm body collapsed on top of mine and eventually, removed my bonds together.

After a beer, some champagne, a few shots of SoCo, Jameson, and whatever colorful drink mixed with vodka sir happened to make for me at the New Yr's party, I was clearly drunker than he was since he drove back. He wanted to get some sleep but I was desperately hot and wanted to sleep naked and have sex before I drifted off to sleep. I quickly shed off my short mini leather dress and climbed under the covers with just my panties on. I knew we were gonna be tired the next day but it was definitely worth it. It was quick and passionate and I really enjoyed it when he came on face and tits. I love the taste of him but he just recently quit smoking so he tasted better than ever.

I'm very lucky to have a sir that gets off on watching me writhe and moan, even if I don't know what's going on. I like the feeling of giving up control. It's strangely comforting and relaxing.

I never have any complaints when having sex with sir, but I love it best when I get to kiss him in the forehead and whisper "Goodnight and I love you."