HNT: I’m glad the world doesn’t know me as well as you do.

To my sir: When I was 18, I told you that you were "loving a pretty messed up chick," I never imagined that you'd still love me just as much 4 years later, and that I'd be only be slightly messed up.

I can't sleep...So I'm posting up my HNT early. I wish that sir was around to blow out his candle. :[ This is one of the wax play photos that I sent to Sir for his birthday except I give it a redish filter to keep with the theme of Valentine's Day, which is coming up. Come to think of it, I don't think I own red underwear or very much red wardrobe in general...perhaps I should fix that. There's been this beautiful red corset that I've been eyeing...Now there's a thought.

Happy HNT everyone, and an early Happy Valentine's Day to all. Don't take love for granted!

Happy Birthday, Sir!!!!!

Today is Sir's birthday but since he's not here, I figured that I would update with a photo of wax play and blog about my last time with sir.

"Wear something sexy and have your toys with you, pet." That was the e-mail from sir. I wasn't sure what I'd be expecting this time. Sir has asked me on several occasions to masterbate in front of him but never with my toys. I was anxious, nervous, and excited to see what sir would ask of me. Obediently, I got dressed into my black corset, thong, fishnet stockings, and collar and waited for his call. He inspected me from every angle as he had done last time. When he was satisfied, he asked me what toys I had with me. I told him my butt plug, clothes pins, my vibrator, and since my rope or my cuffs hadn't come in yet, I had a few ties lying around.

"I want you to play with yourself with one hand and to put your butt plug in with the other." he instructed. I hesitated for a moment because it has just been recently that sir and I have tried anal ANYTHING and here he was asking me to insert my plug myself. Not really wanting to disobey sir, I did as I was told. "Good girl." sir said. "Now, I want you to put the pins on your nipples and to blindfold yourself." Now I really had to protest. As I clipped one pin on a nipple, I begged sir to remove it. I think the pin hurt more than it actually did because this was the first time that I was doing this to myself. I was scared and nervous that I was doing it wrong because usually, toys like this are used when sir is around. Now, as well as for awhile, I am going to have to get used to pinning, pinching, etc. without sir. Sir said in reply, "Pet, if you don't do as I say, I will find other places for you to pin those." Needless to say, the pins stayed. Blindfolded and pinned, I leaned back. I spread my legs widely for him and began to tease my already dripping pussy with my vibrator on low.

I heard sir chuckle to himself upon seeing how much I was enjoying myself. Perhaps I was enjoying myself too much for sir's liking because he asked me, "How would you feel if I told you that I wasn't going to allow you to come tonight, pet?" I froze. I do enjoy it when sir is cruel to me but I sincerely hoped that this time he wasn't being serious. I had done my assignments as sir instructed and it had been about 5 days since I was allowed to come. I shoke my head and begged him to allow me to come that night. Sir said, "Alright pet, you may. So long as you tell me what you're thinking about while you're touching yourself and to ask me for permission just as you are about to come."

"Yes sir." I replied as I told him that while still blindfolded, I imagined sir biting my lip as he pulled my hair roughly. Clamps on my nipples with weights attached to them. Hands tied behind my back as sir rams his cock deeper and deeper into my dripping wet cunt until I cried out in pain and pleasure. God, I was so horny and desperate to come because on top of not being able to come for awhile, sir instructed that I turn my vibrator on to high as I told him what I was fantasizing about. Whenever I beg sir for my orgasm, I feel like a wanton, dirty little slut. I can't even pretend to be an expert at looking sexy because at that point, I didn't care what I looked like. I would do just anything for sir to allow me my orgasm. Gasping and panting was all that I could muster. I begged and begged him again and again, until finally, he let me come. I have to admit that that was one of the most intense orgasms that I've inflicted upon myself with sir. I had almost forgotten what it felt like to be blindfolded while coming.

Playing with sir on the cam is fun. :] On a side note, my rope and cuffs should be arriving soon! *Sir has most of the bondage stuff with him, but you can never have too much rope, and it doesn't hurt to own more than one pair of cuffs, anyways* And I'm happy to say that our long distance d/s relationship is going well. I can't believe that it's been 4 yrs. that we've been together and this is the first birthday that he and I are not celebrating in a naked, drunken, taggled mess together. :[ Ah, well.

Happy Birthday to my wonderful and sexy sir! I love you! <3

HNT: Here, even when you're not here

Things have been pretty hectic so I think that an update is in order. Everything has been nonstop on my end, what with renovations at home (don't mind the door in the background of the pic) and job interviews in full swing. I saw Avatar in 3D which was enjoyable unless you're prone to seizures and/or heartattacks. Otherwise, wonderful. I was skeptical at first...Oh! I also went to the Tim Burton Exhibition at the MOMA with friends and pretty much ruined my panties from excitement because he is my God.

Sir hasn't updated his blog in awhile because he's been super busy too. To quote him "One day of medschool is equivalent to a week of undergrad classes." Yikes... =/ Still, we always talk every night which is nice. At first, I had my worries and doubts that he would be too busy and I would start to feel neglected but that hasn't been the case. Even though we're both busy and far away from each other, we've both managed to maintain a sweet and kinky presence in each other's lives. (This first part is just an update of what's been going on in my daily life but if you want to know what's been happening with sir and I, read ahead after the HHNT greeting. :])

Lately, everything has just been fast paced and always on the go. The minute I get home, I'm getting ready to just go back out again for one reason or another. It's pretty exhausting. I think the hermit in me is starting to protest. Anyway. Here's a shot of me in one of my favorite pair of boots *Sir has a similar pair too so sometimes we match.* Lately, I've been so tired to get dressed for bed that I kinda strip on my way to my bed and fall asleep naked, save for my boots. Oh, what I sight I must be.

HHNT EVERYONE!



Sir and I have been enjoying a steady pattern of webcam sex but since I'm on my period, I've been in a bummy sweatpants, hot compress on the uterus, overkill Midol-induced state. But on my way home this past Saturday night, sir instructed that I wear my collar and something sexy for him. Sir definitely had something up his sleeve. Usually sir and I forgo sexytime whenever my monthly is here. Little did I know...But I didn't think much of it and didn't want to disobey, so I did as sir instructed.

I've heard of people having sex while on their period because it reduced the risk of pregnancy or because they're turned on by it but personally, I'm not aroused by it and I didn't see myself partaking in it. Masterbation, or intercourse...Until now. Sir and I talked casually about everyday topics when suddenly, he asked me to lean back against the wall and spread my legs. I reminded him again that I was on my period. He didn't seem to care. Sir threatened me with a spanking if I didn't spread my legs for him. As much as I like spankings from sir, I knew better this time. Slowly, I spread my legs for him as he asked. Sir proceeds to tell me how beautiful I am and at this point, I still can't look him in the eye. I thought that that would be the end of it. "I want you to touch yourself outside of your panties." he said. I blushed FURIOUSLY at what sir was asking me to do. I am shy enough when he watches me touch myself but moreso in this situation. I tried to wrap my brain around an alternative. Something. ANYTHING ELSE. Sir was unwilling to compromise. Besides, there isn't really much I can bargain with. Anything he asks of me is his. I closed my eyes and turned my face away as I began to rub myself. Mind you, I've never done this, nor have I ever thought to do this but since I am quite sensitive in general, to my surprise and to sir's delight, I started moaning softly and panting heavily. I wanted to stop. But I didn't want to stop. God, I really was a dirty humiliation slut. Sir wanted me to look up at him but I was so embarrassed as I continued to touch myself. He insisted that I admit outloud, over and over again how pleasureable this was until I convinced him enough to let me come. Sir commanded me to look up and as I did, he said, "Do you remember what my cock looks and feels like, slut?" I nodded my head yes as he aimed the camera down to his cock. His wonderful, thick cock that I miss wrapping my lips (both mouth/vagina) around; standing up proud and straight just for me. I began to recall all of the fun and pleasure that we've both shared and felt wonderful knowing that I turned him on. I always like being the reason for sir's arousal. I came first after sir gave me permission to, and he came shortly after.

I suppose there's no rule about sexual acts during your period but I don't forsee this happening on a regular basis. Sir and I like to push the envelope but we do have limits. I love how honest and open we are with each other so that we both better understand what does or doesn't turn us on. At first I was really uncomfortable with this idea but I have to say, that in the end, I enjoyed myself. To me, it was a different feeling because as I've said, it wasn't so much the fact that I had my period that turned me on but the fact that I felt embarrassed to no end at what sir was asking. It was more of a psychological attraction than that of a a physical. I'm usually super horny just as I'm about to get my period but during it, I usually feel so unsexy and bloated like a whale to even think about sex. But sir is wonderful and he always has a way of making me feel comfortable, sexy, and at my best.

HNT: Waiting for sir in my collar

January's practically over but only now am I beginning to feel like my life went from chaotic to normal again. Between buying/wrapping presents for loved ones in crowded malls to trudging to numerous drunken holiday parties in the cold, I've finally settled back into a normal pace again. Normally I wouldn't mind the two activities mentioned above if not for the crowdedness and the cold. *I'm not really a huge fan of winter. It seems that I'm a tropical person by nature. Grrr...Why can't it be spring already? That way, sir will be home and we can continue to do naughty things in public places in the WARM sunlight. The hardest thing about this winter in particular was seeing sir go. But since he's left, we are definitely more adjusted to our situation and despite or distance are still as in love than ever.

For now, I've been busy working on my design website and seeing friends off. It seems that NY, sadly cannot be for everyone with the way that the ecomony's going. Design can be a cruel mistress. Ah well. I don't want this post to get any more depressing than it needs to be so that's all I'm going to say about the matter.

HAPPY HNT, EVERYONE!

You gave your love to me, and now you are my property: Masturbating for sir

"Strip down to your bra and panties, pet. I want to take a good look at my property in the States." sir said. Today was the day that sir would FINALLY let me come. My nipples tingled with excitement. Slowly, I stripped off my shirt and the knee high socks that I was wearing. I didn't bother wearing any shorts or pants because I was hoping sir was in a good mood and would allow me to come that night.

"Get on all fours and turn towards me slowly." sir said to me. First he examined my breasts, my tight ass hole, and lastly my dripping cunt. He seemed satisfied. Smiling, he told me to start touching myself with one hand and to play with my breasts with the other. I moved my thong aside and slowly began to massage my clit with one hand, grabbing a handful of breast with the other. I continued towards my moist pussy, slowing caressing the lips of my vagina before shoving one finger, and eventually two in there. I thought about a lot of the kinky things that sir and I have done, and even more, the public places where we did these things. In particular about last Halloween, when I was dressed as a maid with my collar on, kneeling at the door, blindfolded waiting for sir to come home. How he took me forcefully on the bed, not bothering to remove our clothing. Just biting and scratching, giving little thought to anything else but his cock ramming hard and fast inside of me.

I became even wetter knowing that sir is watching me. I love it when his eyes grow dark with lust because of me. "Keep touching yourself but close your eyes and imagine that I'm right behind you, grabbing your nipples and playing with your wet pussy." I started to breath and pant more heavily, rocking my hips, moving faster as I stuck my fingers deeper and deeper into my cunt. I finally removed my restraining bra. I scratched my chest. I alternated squeezing and twisting my breasts and nipples as hard as I could. I was at the edge. I wanted to come so badly, but I knew better than to not ask sir for permission. I opened my eyes and looked straight into the camera at sir, begging. "Oh God, sir. Can I come please? Please?" He simply smiled. "Who do you belong to, pet?" He waited. Sir loves to make me wait. He also loves making me beg as I watch myself as a reminder of what a slut I really am. Hair desheveled, the clinking sound from my collar as my breasts bounced in the air, my face contorted in erotic bliss. "Oh God, please! I'm your dirty little slut sir, please!" Sir finally gave me permission and I threw my head back and shuddered, feeling my pussy clamp down onto my fingers as I came.

After recomposing ourselves, sir and I talked about his first day of classes which was on Monday. He also sent me a picture of himself, looking very professional and handsome during his white coat ceremony. A large part of me is very proud of him, while the other part of me couldn't help but fantasize about roughly disheveling his hair with my fingers from ecstacy because he is strangling me with his tie. When he comes home, I can't wait to greet him at the door wearing just his white coat and my collar and nylons underneath. Hopefully sir will be kind enough to fuck me against the wall. It has only been about a week since he's left and I miss his warm body next to mine. Tonight, I'm going to sleep with my collar on and hope that he dreams of me.

Perfect Situation

Looking back, I like the way that sir and I have grown together. When we first met, this wasn't supposed to be a serious relationship. But eventually 1 month turned into 3 months, 3 months into 3 years... Some things changed and some things didn't. I'm glad it didn't stay the same or else I'd feel like we weren't really 'getting to know each other' so to speak. I went out with a friend yesterday and she told me that she didn't date men whom she doesn't feel nervous around, especially if she was too comfortable around them. I asked her "Does that hold true if you've been in a relationship with him for awhile?" She couldn't really answer me because her definition of "awhile" was different from mine. Instead, she asked me what I thought. I told her that my sir still makes me nervous. Which I like. I feel like I'm falling in love with him for the first time everytime I look into his eyes. I'm timid and shy to begin with but doubly so when I first met sir. Even until now, when he smiles and winks at me from across the room I can't help but feel weak in the knees and as if I'm the luckiest girl in the world. At the same time, I'm glad that I can be honest and open with sir like I am with my friends. It's nice getting to know more and more about someone and he/she doesn't go running for the hills. How else would he have found out that I like sucking his cock while he drove me home? You can't really just admit that to anyone. "Hi, my name is(insert name here) and I am somewhat of an exhibitionist who enjoys getting flogged in bed." Ummm i don't think that usually goes well on a first date...

I'm rambling. On another note, 5 days has passed and sir promised that he would consider letting me come tomorrow. At this point, that's IF I am what sir would deem as a good pet. Normally I don't keep track of the days but since sir's assignments have been leaving me on the edge of orgasm these days, it's very hard NOT to count. Whenever sir and I talk on Skype, I am either wearing the ring that he gave me or the leather collar with a metal ring attached to it. *Due to my choice of profession, I have 2 types of collars, obviously one less conspicuous.* Sir likes it when I wear my leather collar and nipple clamps so that he can pull the chain while I masterbate in front of him. That way he can control how fast or slow, what's allowed in or out. After all, he does own every inch of me. Sir also insists that I look him in the eyes when I do this because he knows that it humiliates me to admit that I am a dirty little slut and I do enjoy him watching me. I fantasize that when he comes back, he'll attach weights on the nipple clamps, fill both of my holes; a vibrator in my cunt and a vibrating butt plug as I'm blind folded. That way, I"ll have to crawl on my hands and knees to find him. A spanking before he fucks my brains out wouldn't be such a bad thing either. Just sayin'...

I wished that he was here so that my fantasies weren't just fantasies. God, I've never been so anxious for May. But I understand that things come at their own pace and our situation makes me appreciate him that much more. His drive and ambition at medschool along with his faithfulness to me always leaves me in a state of creamy panties and a wet pussy. He is the first thing on my mind when I wake up and the last before I go to bed. Although both of our schedules are fairly busy, we both make time for each other. Even without my daily naughty assignments from sir, he is never far from my mind and apparently I'm not that far from his. He told me that someone happened to notice that his eyes lit up whenever sir talked about me. Little 'ol me. Who'da thought? Right now, we're not in the most perfect situation, what with being so far away from each other, but I couldn't imagine making an effort at being in a relationship with anyone but sir. I wouldn't want to if it wasn't him. I'm hell bent on making this work. I hope he doesn't get bored of me because some times I tend to snore like a beast when I'm drunk and he knows that some times I prefer chocolate over him.

In a perfect situation, sir would be home. For good. Fast forward. In a perfect situation, 4 yrs. from now and sir will make good on that promise that he made last night. As I said... in a perfect situation.

HNT

I don't really have much to say for myself. It has been 3 days since my last orgasm and I am dripping as I walk...

I missed sir's call today but he left a voicemail telling me that he has landed safely and a huge weight was lifted off my chest. With the recent earthquake in Haiti and my sir flying off towards the Carribean... Well, what matters is that he is safe. I do pray for all of the people in Haiti. I have friends who have lost or are still trying to locate loved ones.

*I'm posting my HNT now since I won't be able to do so tomorrow. Here's a shot of the ring that sir left behind with me. This ring is very important to him, and so, I keep it very close to my heart.

HAPPY HNT, EVERYONE!